Thanksgiving Quotes Second Edition

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Featuring an Assortment of Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

"Coexistence: What the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving." Mike Connolly
"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." Erma Bombeck
"You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out." Jay Leno
"Just give me the mashed potatoes and no one gets hurt." Unknown Author
"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." Irv Kupcinet
"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then they discover once a year is too often." Johnny Carson
"Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1863." Unknown Author
"There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey." Unknown Author
"After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations." Oscar Wilde
"What if today, we were just grateful for everything." Charlie Brown
"A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider 'that smells good' to be helping." Jimmy Fallon
"Thanksgiving - when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who don't have to cook." Melanie White
"Thanksgiving: proof you can love people and still want them to head home by eight." Unknown Author
"Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home." Melanie White
"Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out." Nicole Hollander
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family." Jerry Seinfeld
"Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! It's the day you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family." Jimmy Fallon
"Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year." P.J. O'Rourke
"It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring." Timothy Burke, "Friends"
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." George Burns
"Detente – isn't that what a farmer has with his turkey – until Thanksgiving?" Ronald Reagan
"On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence – on whoever volunteered to carve the turkey." Unknown Author
"One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner." Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
"I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year." Adele Larson, "Home for the Holidays"
"Not sure if I'm thankful for family or thankful for all the food they brought over." Unknown Author

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