Dad Jokes Napkins

Why shouldn't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses don’t jump.

How did the telephone propose? With a ring.

Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.

Why did the astronaut leave the party? He needed a little space.

Why do people take extra socks when golfing? They might get a hole in one.

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I sure do.

Why did the coffee call the cops? He got mugged.

How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can't tuna fish.

Why did the koala get the job? He was koalafied.

Why do flamingos only lift one leg? If they lifted both, they’d fall down.

Can you drop an egg on concrete without cracking it? Of course! Concrete is pretty difficult to break

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

Why did the Invisible Man decline the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

What do lawyers like to drink? Subpoena Coladas.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens didn't exist yet.

When can you tell a joke has become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

Why doesn't an oyster share its pearls? Because it's shellfish.

Why are penguins socially awkward? They don't know how to break the ice.

When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

I used to think I was indecisive, and now I'm not sure.

Someone said my dog was chasing them on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes!

Why do people always say age is a number? It's obviously a word.