Golf Humor Quotes - Case

"It's not hard to keep your ball in the fairway, so long as you're not picky about which fairway."

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." - Phyllis Diller

"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course." - Billy Graham

"Golf can be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle."

"Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well."

"Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex–wife." - Bruce Lansky

"I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead." - Bob Hope

"My drinking team has a golfing problem."

"When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit." - Wives of many golfers 

"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald Ford

"Golf is a game in which you yell fore". ..shoot six...and write down five." - Paul Harvey 

"If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt." - Dean Martin 

"To find a man's true character, play golf with him." - P.G. Wodehouse

"The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie." - Mickey Mantle 

"Golf is such an exciting game. Whack the ball, get in the cart. Whack the ball, get in the cart." - Gerald Ford

"We learn so many things from golf...how to suffer, for instance." - Bruce Lansky 

"Show me a man with a great golf game, and I'll show you a man who has been neglecting something." - John F. Kennedy 

"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill–designed for the purpose." - Winston Churchill 

"If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right." - Bob Hope

"What do you use to find the location of a golf ball? A lie detector."

"The older I get the harder it is to find my balls."

"Golf?! You hit down on the ball to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And, on top of that the winner buys the drinks."

"Golf is a good walk spoiled." - Mark Twain 

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." - Jack Lemmon

"If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death." - Sam Snead