Inappropriate Thoughts Quotes

 "It's not that I don't like you. Oh wait...yes it is."

"When your ex says, "You'll never find anyone like me again." I tell him, "That's the point you idiot." "

"The best way to hang up on someone is in the middle of your own sentence. That way they never suspect you hung up on them."

"I'm not really a control freak. But...can I show you the right way to do that??"

"Why do people always ask... 'What the Hell were you thinking?'"

"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude and that's not my problem."

"When people say "You will regret that in the morning" I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver."

"It would of course have to look like an accident."

"People say I go out of my way to upset others. I say it isn't out of my way at all."

"I'm not arguing, I am explaining why I'm correct."

"I really appreciate the time you took today to remind me why I don't like you."

"I was hoping for a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed."

"Yes, your opinion matters. But not to me."

"All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you."

"I'm sure whatever you have to say can wait until you're smarter."

"You're not totally useless, you could be used as a bad example."

"I got called "pretty" today! Well, actually the full statement was "You're pretty annoying..." But I only focus on positive things."

"I have been putting a lot of thought into it. I don't think being an adult is going to work out for me."

"Hating people takes way too much energy. I just pretend they are dead."

""Screw it"...my last thought before making most decisions."

"Life is all about perspective... The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for all the lobsters who escaped from the ship's kitchen."

"When I get to work, I always hide, because a good worker is hard to find."

"Life Hack:  Did you know that if you text your boss "Go stuff yourself," you won't have to go to work anymore?"

"I'm giving up drinking for a month...sorry, bad punctuation. I'm giving up. Drinking for a month."

"The trouble with trouble is it starts out as being fun!"