Subversive Quotes

"I don't hate people. I just sometimes feel better when they're not around."

"The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I only asked for pizza."

"It's OK if you don't like me, not everyone has great taste."

"Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge."

"Decaf only works if you throw it at people."

"I never said it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!"

"I can do all things through spite, which strengthens me."

"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."

"I don't mind coming to work but this 8 hour wait to go home is just stressful."

"A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet."

"I am an adult... nut not like a real adult."

"All I know is one of us is right and the other is you."

"I would agree with you but then we'd both be wrong."

"I don't have the energy to pretend I like you today."

"I'm not rude. I'm selectively polite." 

"I meant to say it... just not out loud."

"Sorry I am late. I didn't want to come."

"I didn't mean to call you an idiot. I thought for sure you already knew."

"My arrogance is what makes me special."

"Someone has to set the bad example."

"You severely underestimate my apathy."

"People act like I don't care. It's not an act."

"I'd love to explain it to you but I don't have any crayons."

"My love is like a candle. If you forget me I will burn your house to the ground."

"I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me...but someone."